At work, the armed forces and your doctor

Some of us prefer not to discuss our personal lives at work - it's got nothing to do with why we're there and it's as straightforward as that. However, human nature being what it is, colleagues often guess or find out particularly if you don't talk about 'her' or get involved in the 'who shagged who on Saturday night' office gossip. For other guys, feeling able to be themselves and chat about what they did at the weekend - perhaps with a boyfriend - is an important part of who they are. While it may be possible to gauge the kind of response you'll get, the only way to find out for certain is to come out again - but, in this instance, to the people you work with. Furthermore, there are some circumstances where coming out can seriously affect your job security and promotion prospects. The bottom line is being careful and seeking advice first.

The Armed Forces

In January 2000, the Secretary of State for Defence formally announced the end of the policy banning gay personnel from serving in the Armed Forces. A new guide, Code of Social Conduct, was also announced. The code also covers relations amongst serving members of the armed forces, be they gay or straight. If you work for the Armed Forces and you wish to seek the latest information, or need to talk to someone about your sexuality, contact a confidential service. You are strongly advised to do this before declaring your sexuality to anyone:

Rank Outsiders 0870 740 7755 / www.rank-outsiders.org.uk / BCM Box 8431, London WC1N 3XX

Stonewall Info Line: 08000 50 20 20 / Office: 0207 593 1850 / Tower Building, York Road, London SE1 7NX

Your doctor

A good GP is hard to find, but is a vital part of maintaining your health. Unfortunately, the response by GPs varies enormously and while it shouldn't matter - indeed they should be willing to support you - there is a wealth of anecdotal evidence to the contrary. If you're looking for a GP, consider phoning up the prospective practice anonymously to ask whether its 'gay friendly' and gauge the response. This may seem absurd but disclosing your sexuality to your GP may mean that it is recorded on your medical notes. Medical records can be accessed by a range of organisations including life insurers, which can raise the whole question of HIV and testing. You'll probably get the 'all the doctors are professional' response but go with your gut feeling and don't be afraid to ask questions. You never know when you might need your GP, and having to handle all the homophobic crap during a home visit (when he meets your boyfriend) can make matters worse.

If you don't have one, register now! Simply phone NHS Direct on 0845 4647 who will be able to provide you details of GP practices in your area. Open 24hrs, NHS Direct is a confidential nurse led service providing health care advice and information. You can also reach it on www.nhs.co.uk. (For your sexual health, you are strongly advised to register with a sexual health/ clinic. The National AIDS Helpline on 0800 567123 can provide details of clinics in your area).

This online advice guide is an extract from the book TOGETHER, by kind permission of Patriic Gayle and Gay Times Books. The book itself is over 300 pages long and contains:

several chapters more useful advice and information

more in-depth information in some chapters

more pictures and tables

further contacts at the end of each chapter

a comprehensive listing of gay and health organisations

Described by Qx magazine as a 'Gay Bible', Together Book is a practical reference work no bookshelf should be without.

Available from Prowler Stores and all good bookshops, or click the link below for price and ordering details.

1080