Introduction

Barely 40 years ago one of the few places you could meet other gay men was in a public toilet. Not only was it frightening and dangerous, but police arrest and the subsequent court appearance would almost certainly cost you your job, family and home. Any friends you had would vanish, if only to protect themselves. Coming out to your family was unheard of, health advice and support for gay men were virtually non-existent and access to the small homosexual scene was only for those in the know. If you're in your 70s you'll remember this all too well. If you're in your 60s you'll have witnessed the fight for recognition and the law that legalised sex between men. If you're in your 50s you'll have visited the new pubs and clubs. If you're in your 40s you'll have experienced the emergence of the AIDS epidemic. And, if you're in your 20s or 30s and screaming your tits off under the illusion that you invented gay life - get real! Ever since the 60s, when the SK (Gay Social) Group was formed, gay men and women looking for a little bit more than a backstreet bar or cottage, have set to and baked, knitted and organised their own communities, and today we enjoy their legacy. If you were around in the early 70s, you had little option but to make your own 'amusement' hence the existence of the Gay Liberation Front, the Campaign for Homosexual Equality or a local befriending group. Thirty years ago, they were playgrounds in the same way that Mardi Gras is today. We would do well to spare a thought for the small group of flamboyant people prepared to give us all a bad name by taking to the streets and laying the foundations of the major festivals and events which exist today. Gay men and lesbians also laid the foundations for the effective responses that our community had in spreading the message about AIDS when it came along. Gay men became - and often still are - the backbone of many AIDS organisations and self-help groups who took that ethos of self-help and went on to apply it to all people with HIV. Still in our thousands we volunteer or give money, or provide other support, to our communities and groups. Volunteers get involved for as many reasons as there are people, giving a few hours a week to a lifetime of commitment. And forget the woolly socks goody two shoes image, along the way we find lovers, get skills we never dreamed of and meet people we would never normally talk to in a million years. It's a great way to find out more about yourself and what you can do. One thing that's true is that not only do you get back what you put in, but you can end up with a whole lot more beside - community, friends, respect and a more rounded understanding of who we are, pride in the fact that you didn't wait for the plague wagon to carry your friends off, pride that you got accepted because of who you are not in spite of it, pride in the fact that when someone is in the same difficult spot as you once were, you can be there for them. Cafés, bars, pubs and clubs While the gay scene grew steadily from the early seventies, in the last decade that it has changed dramatically. The boarded-up windows and alleyway entrances of the 'twilight world of the homosexual' have evolved into a thriving industry of trendy bars, restaurants, cafés and shops filled with the latest fashion, lifestyle accessories and sexual accoutrements. A new generation of gyms and saunas have exploded on to the scene while myriad pubs and clubs continue to serve up a wide range of music, theme nights and sex venues. Pride, Mardi Gras, and other festivals and exhibitions have helped to revolutionise our image. Even the smallest town can usually boast a gay pub, and new venues spring up every year. Nevertheless, access to the 'playground' is often dependent on living near a town or city with a scene of some kind, and having sufficient cash and the confidence to go out and play. Many gay men still live in desperate isolation, survive on nominal wages and have yet to find the confidence and opportunity to travel the yellow brick road. This online advice guide is an extract from the book TOGETHER, by kind permission of Patriic Gayle and Gay Times Books. The book itself is over 300 pages long and contains:

several chapters more useful advice and information

more in-depth information in some chapters

more pictures and tables

further contacts at the end of each chapter

a comprehensive listing of gay and health organisations Described by Qx magazine as a 'Gay Bible', Together Book is a practical reference work no bookshelf should be without.

Available from Prowler Stores and all good bookshops, or click the link below for price and ordering details.

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