Phone and Internet sex

Both newspapers and some telephone chat lines offer voice-mail alongside other contact services. First things first, check out the charges! Costs, terms and conditions of use are often hidden in millimetre high text and explicit language is often a no-no. Usually, you record a short description of what you're into or want in around 30 seconds. Remember that callers are going to hear your voice, so make a note of what you want to say in advance, try not to sound monosyllabic and avoid using the word 'Umm...' For newspaper or magazine ads, they will then make up an edited version of your recording which is printed. After reading it, interested guys phone a central number where you punch in the appropriate reference to hear your recorded ad in full. Some systems have a text-messaging feature that alerts you that someone has answered your ad. You then follow the menu on your handset to retrieve the message. With the telephone services it's even easier - you can either leave your number in the advert or, if you want to be mysterious, you can choose to have a box and pin number to retrieve any messages left for you at a later point. For a comprehensive list, check out the latest issue of Gay Times Magazine or the Gay Times Website

The internet

The internet provides numerous opportunities to meet other gay men and find out just about anything gay. You can visit websites, chat rooms and access directories and bulletin boards packed with information. You can send and receive pictures, set up meetings and wank each other off on line - albeit through cameras. The Internet is particularly of use to guys who have a special interest, or who live in rural or more isolated areas, or who are just shy. That's not to say that everyone has access to a computer but increasingly - through internet cafés, libraries and other public access sites - we are communicating in ways unheard of a few years a go. See Gay Times Website for an online guide to Chat & Lifestyle Websites.



Top tips

When on line (eg: using chat rooms) you may wish to adopt a false name.

Think carefully before giving out your credit/debit card details over the internet. A key symbol usually shows up in the bottom of the screen to say that the site is secure.

Think carefully before signing up to sites, paying subscription/membership fees - they can mount up.

Be careful as to what picture files you download - some may be illegal.

Think carefully before giving out your email/home address and telephone number.

Be sure that you can trust the person sending you files or pictures as it is an easy way to pick-up a computer virus. Better still, install an up-to-date virus protection programme.

If you're using someone else's computer you may wish to delete any 'incriminating' evidence, including emptying the re-cycle bin and history file.

What guys say they are on the internet is not necessarily what they are in reality!

Pictures of yourself are often required when chatting with guys.

This online advice guide is an extract from the book TOGETHER, by kind permission of Patriic Gayle and Gay Times Books. The book itself is over 300 pages long and contains:

several chapters more useful advice and information

more in-depth information in some chapters

more pictures and tables

further contacts at the end of each chapter

a comprehensive listing of gay and health organisations

Described by Qx magazine as a 'Gay Bible', Together Book is a practical reference work no bookshelf should be without.

Available from Prowler Stores and all good bookshops, or click the link below for price and ordering details.

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