Friends

For most of us, a day won't go by without calling or seeing a friend whether it's to catch up on the latest gossip, make plans or do something together. When our world seems to fall apart or we just need cheering up we often turn to our friends. While friendships can sometimes take a back seat when a man walks into our life, they're there to help you pick up the pieces after the little sod has moved on (despite the fact you deserted them while you were holed up in your flat fucking Mr Right across the kitchen floor). Friends often become the 'family' that not only protects us against loneliness and isolation, but also provides a space where we are loved, supported and valued. Many friendships endure against all odds - many gay men's experience of HIV and AIDS bears testimony to that. Consequently, friends should be chosen with care, protected, and should never be taken for granted. Underlying the magic which brings friends together is time, mutual give and take and respect if friendships are to remain happy and healthy. Do...

Make time and keep in regular contact.

Do different stuff together.

Be honest.

Be constructive in your criticism.

Admit to your mistakes and be willing to apologise when you fuck up.

Remember birthdays and learn first and second names and addresses.

Listen before opening your mouth.

Accept weaknesses and praise strengths.

Support him when he's down.

Be polite to his boyfriend and friends. Don't...

Always wait for him to phone first.

Put off or cancel arrangements.

Lie or steal from him.

Sleep with his boyfriend or recent ex or family.

Throw a queeny fit if he criticizes you.

Pretend to listen when you're really cruising.

Be malicious or intentionally put him down in front of people.

Leave him if he's on drugs.

Borrow money unless you intend to pay it back.

Be rude about his boyfriend and friends even if you think they're wankers. This online advice guide is an extract from the book TOGETHER, by kind permission of Patriic Gayle and Gay Times Books. The book itself is over 300 pages long and contains:

several chapters more useful advice and information

more in-depth information in some chapters

more pictures and tables

further contacts at the end of each chapter

a comprehensive listing of gay and health organisations Described by Qx magazine as a 'Gay Bible', Together Book is a practical reference work no bookshelf should be without.

Available from Prowler Stores and all good bookshops, or click the link below for price and ordering details.

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