More casual sex!

If you don't want to see him again, don't hang around. Get dressed, say something casual like 'see you around' and leave before the ritual of exchanging phone numbers can start. The tone of your voice can be friendly but be just that. You should only offer him your number because you want to see him again and not because you're trying to be polite and/or let him down gently. If he offers you his number and you're not going to use it - be polite, but decline. Remember: it's a casual encounter... you're not married... there are no obligations. If you want to see someone again and you have a partner - be honest and tell him the score. The bottom line is that many numbers are scrawled down in haste and never used again. It's just what we do to tie up the end of an intimate sexual encounter with the harsh reality that you've both done the business and are now getting on with your lives. Learning and understanding this stuff can be both slow and painful particularly when you think you've met some really special who then never calls. The pit opens up and you start wondering if you should... If you shagged on Saturday and it's now Monday, do you call on Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday? How long do you give him, two, three or four days? You feel wretched and vow never to feel like this again. Maybe he didn't call you because he's gone home to the boyfriend he didn't tell you about, he's met someone else, he's afraid of getting too close or he 's just an arsehole. Maybe he likes you but not enough.

Fuck buddies

Fuck buddies are guys with whom we have sex on a regular basis without the complexities of a relationship. You might have met through the scene, the internet or a personal ad but the pleasure you get is a sexual quid pro quo and an explicit understanding that you can stop seeing each other without anyone getting hurt. Fuck buddies only work if you are both clear and honest about this arrangement. You can phone each other up, meet when it's convenient but know intuitively that you will not become boyfriends. You can experiment, swap roles, practice technique or just fuck your brains out because you both just love it - not each other. If this presents a problem, then it's possible you're actually looking for a boyfriend. Sometimes it happens, but if you develop feelings - let him know. He may not be interested, or he may be thinking the same, but the arrangement has changed and you owe it to each other to be honest. This online advice guide is an extract from the book TOGETHER, by kind permission of Patriic Gayle and Gay Times Books. The book itself is over 300 pages long and contains:

several chapters more useful advice and information

more in-depth information in some chapters

more pictures and tables

further contacts at the end of each chapter

a comprehensive listing of gay and health organisations Described by Qx magazine as a 'Gay Bible', Together Book is a practical reference work no bookshelf should be without.

Available from Prowler Stores and all good bookshops, or click the link below for price and ordering details.

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