Massage

Massage is a powerful relaxation technique which involves rubbing, stroking and kneading the body, particularly muscle areas which accumulate tension. For example, head massages can relieve tension headaches and a foot massage can make you feet feel wonderful. While qualified masseurs will maintain (quite rightly) that it is a skill in its own right, massage can also be a big turn-on and a sensual prelude to sex.

In our desire to get our rocks off, we can sometimes forget the intimate pleasure gained from getting to know someone's body without fucking them rigid... well at least not immediately. And so, given its benefits to de-stress, relax and produce a positive feeling of well being, its not surprising that massage is used to set the mood. Buy some massage oil available from chemists, the Body Shop, and some health shops. Experiment with different scented oils. Bear in mind that once massaged you will pong (lovely though this may be). Oils damage condoms. If you intend to use them later all traces of massage oil should be removed. However, massage is not recommended if you have a skin condition, or thrombosis (varicose veins) and Karposi's Sarcoma which can be aggravated by massage.

Keep some towels to hand.

Oils can be difficult to wash from sheets and clothing and in some cases can stain.

Unplug the phone, turn off mobiles/pagers and turn off the TV.

Relaxing music will often compliment the massage.

Be sure the room is comfortably warm.

Dim the lights or perhaps use candles.

Above all don't rush, take time. (If you're that horny just fuck him).

Don't talk unless it's necessary but do listen to your partner.

Your guy should be naked with a towel over the groin (tummy to thighs); if he's totally naked this can be prematurely distracting.

Making sure your partner is comfortable, place him (in the first instance) on his front.

Place a teaspoonful of oil into the palm of one hand and warm it up by rubbing your hands together.

Where you massage is up to you but think about the scalp, head, neck, shoulders, back (remembering the sides which can be ticklish), small of the back, thighs, ankles feet and toes... in fact anywhere. But, if you're after maximum stimulation don't forget the nipples, ears (lobs),the soles of this feet and the cheeks and crack of his arse (without losing your hand).

With firm circular stroking movements - developing a smooth and constant rhythm - knead and rub the skin moulding your hands into to the contours of the body. As you massage use different parts of your hands. Your technique should be purposeful but reassuring.

Use your thumbs and fingertips to apply deep pressure and relax tense muscles, eg in the shoulders and neck. You should be able to increase the pressure slightly over larger areas, eg the back and legs, but don't push or leave your partner out of breath. If an area proves ticklish increase the pressure or move to a different area.

One hand should be in contact with the body at all times using your other hand if you need more oil.

This online advice guide is an extract from the book TOGETHER, by kind permission of Patriic Gayle and Gay Times Books. The book itself is over 300 pages long and contains:

several chapters more useful advice and information

more in-depth information in some chapters

more pictures and tables

further contacts at the end of each chapter

a comprehensive listing of gay and health organisations

Described by Qx magazine as a 'Gay Bible', Together Book is a practical reference work no bookshelf should be without.

Available from Prowler Stores and all good bookshops, or click the link below for price and ordering details.

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