Putting things up your arse
The arse is one of the most sensitive parts of the body, and putting things inside it can be very horny. However, your arse is delicate: you should treat it with respect as something that you wish to keep in good condition for years to come both for sex and shitting. Not all gay men use their arses for sex - some don't and have wholly satisfying and fulfilling sex lives. But the majority of gay men use their arses for sex in one way or another whether it's a tongue, finger, cock, dildo or fist.
Why it can feels so good
The arsehole and anal canal are sensitive to touch.
The rectum can sense movement and can stretch.
The prostate gland (which is very sensitive) can be stimulated through the wall of the rectum.
Shape, size and texture
Warm, flexible, smooth-edged and dildo-shaped objects which can slide in and out easily are the best things to stick up your arse - which is why cocks are so wonderful. With care and practice larger cocks and dildos and fists eventually be accommodated. Conversely, cold, hard, rough and angular shaped objects can graze or cut the inside of the arse and cause bleeding, bruising and serious damage. Glass objects tend to break or shatter under pressure, and for this reason it does not make sense to insert light bulbs, glasses, bottles or chandeliers.
Force
Sphincter muscles are closed for a very good reason: to stop shit from falling out. They only open (usually) when we're sitting on the toilet. If we're to open them for different reasons, sphincter muscles need to be gently massaged, teased and coaxed open before they'll let anything through by choice. Obviously, there's a guy attached to these muscles who will want to feel comfortable and relaxed before he's likely to tell them to chill out and relax - quite literally. If you try and force a dildo, a cock or even a small finger through closed sphincter muscles, nerve endings will register discomfort - in many cases pain - and contract immediately. A classic example of this happening is when a dick is rammed into an unsuspecting arse taking the muscles completely by surprise. The pain can probably be best described as the 'pain of pains' and you can never quite work out whether you want to nurse yourself, hit him or throw him out first.
Loss and retrieval
All sorts of things can go in but not all of them come out as easily. When an object gets 'lost' up a person's arse, it's usually slipped into the rectum and the bottom sphincter muscle has closed behind it. If there's blood, discomfort or pain you should go to casualty immediately. If not, you may be able to retrieve it yourself by:
Relaxing the sphincter muscles again (with lubricant and/or poppers)
Massaging the arsehole to 'tease' it open.
Shitting it out.
Using a few fingers to ease it out.
Understandably, a person can be anxious (which can tighten the arse muscles) and may need to be calmed, relaxed and reassured. If none of these techniques work then you should go to casualty immediately.
Retrieval becomes more difficult when the object is an awkward shape - a little like a lobster getting into a lobster pot but not being able to get out. Vibrators can slip out of your hands and up an unsuspecting arse. The novelty value of buzzing your way into an accident and emergency department runs out very quickly and probably before the long-life batteries. Glass objects can be sharp and shatter and trying to retrieve light bulbs, apples, cock rings, and golf balls at 3am in casualty, ceases to be sexy after about two minutes.
Blood and injury
During or after sex, you may see a little pink in the lubricant or arse mucous. This usually means that small blood vessels running close to the surface of the rectum or sphincter muscles have ruptured. While it may be no more than a graze on the skin, there are no nerve receptors to register pain and you cannot see the injury to make an assessment. Consequently, all suspected injuries should be taken seriously.
While you should stop what you're doing, the reality is that if you're having a good time and there is no pain or discomfort it's possible you'll carry on - albeit with greater care. However, it needs to be made clear that physical damage has already been done. Furthermore, if gloves have not been used and your hands aren't in perfect condition, there is a risk of STI transmission.
If the blood becomes thicker or darker in colour - stop what you're doing immediately. No ifs, buts or maybes. If you don't feel the need to seek medical help, rest up and see how you're feeling in a few hours as it can take a while before you realise that harm has been done. Indications that there is a problem may include a temperature, persistent pain or discomfort, sweating, feeling nauseous or weak.
If there is pain, discomfort, nausea, or continued blood loss, or if you don't feel any better, go to a casualty department immediately. If you don't know where to go phone the police who will be able to tell you the nearest hospital; you don't have to tell them anything.
ors to register pain and you cannot see the injury to make an assessment. Consequently, all suspected injuries should be taken seriously.
While you should stop what you're doing, the reality is that if you're having a good time and there is no pain or discomfort it's possible you'll carry on - albeit with greater care. However, it needs to be made clear that physical damage has already been done. Furthermore, if gloves have not been used and your hands aren't in perfect condition, there is a risk of STI transmission.
If the blood becomes thicker or darker in colour - stop what you're doing immediately. No ifs, buts or maybes. If you don't feel the need to seek medical help, rest up and see how you're feeling in a few hours as it can take a while before you realise that harm has been done. Indications that there is a problem may include a temperature, persistent pain or discomfort, sweating, feeling nauseous or weak.
If there is pain, discomfort, nausea, or continued blood loss, or if you don't feel any better, go to a casualty department immediately. If you don't know where to go phone the police who will be able to tell you the nearest hospital; you don't have to tell them anything.
This online advice guide is an extract from the book TOGETHER, by kind permission of Patriic Gayle and Gay Times Books. The book itself is over 300 pages long and contains:
several chapters more useful advice and information
more in-depth information in some chapters
more pictures and tables
further contacts at the end of each chapter
a comprehensive listing of gay and health organisations
Described by Qx magazine as a 'Gay Bible', Together Book is a practical reference work no bookshelf should be without.
Available from Prowler Stores and all good bookshops, or click the link below for price and ordering details.
Why it can feels so good
Shape, size and texture
Warm, flexible, smooth-edged and dildo-shaped objects which can slide in and out easily are the best things to stick up your arse - which is why cocks are so wonderful. With care and practice larger cocks and dildos and fists eventually be accommodated. Conversely, cold, hard, rough and angular shaped objects can graze or cut the inside of the arse and cause bleeding, bruising and serious damage. Glass objects tend to break or shatter under pressure, and for this reason it does not make sense to insert light bulbs, glasses, bottles or chandeliers.
Force
Sphincter muscles are closed for a very good reason: to stop shit from falling out. They only open (usually) when we're sitting on the toilet. If we're to open them for different reasons, sphincter muscles need to be gently massaged, teased and coaxed open before they'll let anything through by choice. Obviously, there's a guy attached to these muscles who will want to feel comfortable and relaxed before he's likely to tell them to chill out and relax - quite literally. If you try and force a dildo, a cock or even a small finger through closed sphincter muscles, nerve endings will register discomfort - in many cases pain - and contract immediately. A classic example of this happening is when a dick is rammed into an unsuspecting arse taking the muscles completely by surprise. The pain can probably be best described as the 'pain of pains' and you can never quite work out whether you want to nurse yourself, hit him or throw him out first.
Loss and retrieval
All sorts of things can go in but not all of them come out as easily. When an object gets 'lost' up a person's arse, it's usually slipped into the rectum and the bottom sphincter muscle has closed behind it. If there's blood, discomfort or pain you should go to casualty immediately. If not, you may be able to retrieve it yourself by:
Understandably, a person can be anxious (which can tighten the arse muscles) and may need to be calmed, relaxed and reassured. If none of these techniques work then you should go to casualty immediately.
Retrieval becomes more difficult when the object is an awkward shape - a little like a lobster getting into a lobster pot but not being able to get out. Vibrators can slip out of your hands and up an unsuspecting arse. The novelty value of buzzing your way into an accident and emergency department runs out very quickly and probably before the long-life batteries. Glass objects can be sharp and shatter and trying to retrieve light bulbs, apples, cock rings, and golf balls at 3am in casualty, ceases to be sexy after about two minutes.
Blood and injury
During or after sex, you may see a little pink in the lubricant or arse mucous. This usually means that small blood vessels running close to the surface of the rectum or sphincter muscles have ruptured. While it may be no more than a graze on the skin, there are no nerve receptors to register pain and you cannot see the injury to make an assessment. Consequently, all suspected injuries should be taken seriously.
While you should stop what you're doing, the reality is that if you're having a good time and there is no pain or discomfort it's possible you'll carry on - albeit with greater care. However, it needs to be made clear that physical damage has already been done. Furthermore, if gloves have not been used and your hands aren't in perfect condition, there is a risk of STI transmission.
If the blood becomes thicker or darker in colour - stop what you're doing immediately. No ifs, buts or maybes. If you don't feel the need to seek medical help, rest up and see how you're feeling in a few hours as it can take a while before you realise that harm has been done. Indications that there is a problem may include a temperature, persistent pain or discomfort, sweating, feeling nauseous or weak.
If there is pain, discomfort, nausea, or continued blood loss, or if you don't feel any better, go to a casualty department immediately. If you don't know where to go phone the police who will be able to tell you the nearest hospital; you don't have to tell them anything.
ors to register pain and you cannot see the injury to make an assessment. Consequently, all suspected injuries should be taken seriously.
While you should stop what you're doing, the reality is that if you're having a good time and there is no pain or discomfort it's possible you'll carry on - albeit with greater care. However, it needs to be made clear that physical damage has already been done. Furthermore, if gloves have not been used and your hands aren't in perfect condition, there is a risk of STI transmission.
If the blood becomes thicker or darker in colour - stop what you're doing immediately. No ifs, buts or maybes. If you don't feel the need to seek medical help, rest up and see how you're feeling in a few hours as it can take a while before you realise that harm has been done. Indications that there is a problem may include a temperature, persistent pain or discomfort, sweating, feeling nauseous or weak.
If there is pain, discomfort, nausea, or continued blood loss, or if you don't feel any better, go to a casualty department immediately. If you don't know where to go phone the police who will be able to tell you the nearest hospital; you don't have to tell them anything.
This online advice guide is an extract from the book TOGETHER, by kind permission of Patriic Gayle and Gay Times Books. The book itself is over 300 pages long and contains:
Described by Qx magazine as a 'Gay Bible', Together Book is a practical reference work no bookshelf should be without.
Available from Prowler Stores and all good bookshops, or click the link below for price and ordering details.
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