Fisting Part 1

Some of us get turned on by taking as much of a hand as far inside the arse as possible. Practice is the name of the game and - although you might never want to fist - almost everyone can accommodate at least a few fingers. To get a fist in and out safely does require more effort, time and concentration on the part of both partners. In this section the term 'fister' has been used for the person giving the fist, 'fistee' the person receiving.

While there are obvious benefits to fisting with an experienced partner, learning with another novice can be just as safe and horny. It's advisable to take some time to get to know each other, and to try and discover each other's fantasies. Whatever happens it is important for both of you - but particularly the fistee - to feel relaxed and comfortable.

Foreplay should never be underestimated in helping develop a sense of rapport, trust and humour. Codes or 'stop/start rules' are essential and should be agreed
beforehand. 'Stop' from a fistee means stop immediately and 'out' means out, albeit very slowly and with extreme care. The important thing is to talk about what you want and not to assume or guess. If a person allows you deep into their body, they are putting a tremendous amount of trust in you. Be extremely gentle and cautious and take all movement slowly. Sudden movements can be painful, can tear the rectal wall and cause serious injury. The more you go in, the more you will find yourself pressing against your partner's organs, so take great care. If the fistee wants you to be up there, he will encourage you.

If you fist beyond the rectum you may encounter several problems. There are no receptors to register pain above the rectum. Perforations and subsequent bleeding can go unnoticed for several hours. You're more inclined to press against and bruise other body organs. You may damage the upper sphincter muscle so that it doesn't close properly (but still has to regulate shit passing between the sigmoid colon and rectum) which can result in leaks or shitting yourself.

If you're fisting...

Firstly, if you're into controlling others in sex or if your trip is power, then don't fist unless it is part of an agreed scene. When you're buried inside someone else, it's the fistee that allows you the privilege of being there. They are putting trust in you that you will respect their vulnerability and together create a combined energy that neither of you could ever create on your own. A good fister is totally focused on the needs of the fistee and is aware that each partner is different physically and mentally. There is no best way to do anything and using a particular technique on one person may not work on another. Before you start, choose which hand you're going to use. A combination of fisting and then wanking with the same hand could increase the risk of infection both ways. Remove all rings, jewellery or sharp objects which may cause damage or just get lost!

This online advice guide is an extract from the book TOGETHER, by kind permission of Patriic Gayle and Gay Times Books. The book itself is over 300 pages long and contains:

several chapters more useful advice and information

more in-depth information in some chapters

more pictures and tables

further contacts at the end of each chapter

a comprehensive listing of gay and health organisations

Described by Qx magazine as a 'Gay Bible', Together Book is a practical reference work no bookshelf should be without.

Available from Prowler Stores and all good bookshops, or click the link below for price and ordering details.

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