Fisting Part 3
You can loosen up by using increasingly larger dildos and butt-plugs. A more effective way is to increase control of your sphincter muscles by exploring your arse with your own fingers, (clean and lubed of course). Once again - practice is the name of the game. Explore gently, see how this part of your body reacts to deep breathing or thoughts of fear and relaxation.
Remember: go slowly, take your time and don't push. It's not a race or competition. If your arse feels threatened or attacked it will react in fear and tighten up. (As mentioned earlier douching will help familiarise yourself with your arse - getting a sense of where things are and their dimensions). With greater control dildos and butt-plugs will be more pleasurable and give you experience in stretching and taking more and more inside you. A fistee needs to remain relaxed which is helped by practice. Breathing deeply, rather than holding your breath, will often help. You should be pulling or willing your partner in so that there's no need to push. Sometimes pushing out, as if shitting, then pulling in can make a difference.
As a fistee you have a responsibility to let your partner know if you're okay. You should also be aware that your partner may need a break and has needs of his own which a considerate fistee will attempt to meet. If you sense or feel discomfort or have pain tell your partner to slow down, take a break or stop. It's your body - if it's telling you something, listen. Pain could mean that you're going to be sore later. More importantly, if your partner isn't listening or thinks he knows better, question whether he's suitable and maybe suggest he takes his frustrations elsewhere. Ultimately, it is trust - the absence of fear - that not only makes taking a hand possible but makes it the great experience it can be. You also have a responsibility to let your partner know when it's feeling good. Support them all you can: maybe talk, moan or groan, or if you can touch him respond to movements you can feel inside.
Blood, soreness, pain and damage
A little soreness is common and usually goes away in an hour or so. It may also indicate that your partner went in or came out a bit too fast. The most common feeling is that your arse feels like it is purring (à la Eartha Kitt). Sometimes air will have worked its way into the system but this will feel no different from standard gas pain and will work its way through in time. Once the prostate and bladder have been stimulated, it's also common to feel the need to piss afterwards and often not be able to do so easily.
There are risks associated with fisting, including perforations in your lower intestine. These may be little fissures or splits or can range from bleeding to a prolapsed rectum requiring surgery. You should not underestimate any of these problems or complications. This is usually as a result of the fister being unnecessarily rough or the fistee being too drugged-up to recognise their limitations. A tear or perforation may not be noticed for an hour or two. Internal pain (that often increases over time) and/or undiluted blood is an indication of damage.
Don't hesitate to seek medical help immediately. Try not to be embarrassed or apologetic if you have to go to an Accident and Emergency Department. Although hospital staff may think what you've done is strange, they should deal with you professionally and will have very possibly seen it all before. If you have perforated your bowel going to hospital can save your life.
Afterwards...
Douching after a session is not a good idea as this can aggravate any minor cuts or abrasions. In the remote possibility that there are minute perforations or tears, douching is likely to make them more severe. After your session, you may feel the need to shit out the lube and any mucus, and this is not unnatural, given what you have just been doing. Take your time, and don't strain. You may also feel sick, drowsy or perhaps a little confused. Between heavy breathing, smoke from candles, incense, cigarettes and poppers you may have used up much of the oxygen in the room. All you might need is to open the windows or go for a short walk. Alternatively, you may just want to sleep! You may also feel hungry, so if you can, plan ahead and have something ready. Even if you don't have the munchies, make sure you drink lots of non-alcoholic fluid.
This online advice guide is an extract from the book TOGETHER, by kind permission of Patriic Gayle and Gay Times Books. The book itself is over 300 pages long and contains:
several chapters more useful advice and information
more in-depth information in some chapters
more pictures and tables
further contacts at the end of each chapter
a comprehensive listing of gay and health organisations
Described by Qx magazine as a 'Gay Bible', Together Book is a practical reference work no bookshelf should be without.
Available from Prowler Stores and all good bookshops, or click the link below for price and ordering details. l good bookshops, or click the link below for price and ordering details.
Remember: go slowly, take your time and don't push. It's not a race or competition. If your arse feels threatened or attacked it will react in fear and tighten up. (As mentioned earlier douching will help familiarise yourself with your arse - getting a sense of where things are and their dimensions). With greater control dildos and butt-plugs will be more pleasurable and give you experience in stretching and taking more and more inside you. A fistee needs to remain relaxed which is helped by practice. Breathing deeply, rather than holding your breath, will often help. You should be pulling or willing your partner in so that there's no need to push. Sometimes pushing out, as if shitting, then pulling in can make a difference.
As a fistee you have a responsibility to let your partner know if you're okay. You should also be aware that your partner may need a break and has needs of his own which a considerate fistee will attempt to meet. If you sense or feel discomfort or have pain tell your partner to slow down, take a break or stop. It's your body - if it's telling you something, listen. Pain could mean that you're going to be sore later. More importantly, if your partner isn't listening or thinks he knows better, question whether he's suitable and maybe suggest he takes his frustrations elsewhere. Ultimately, it is trust - the absence of fear - that not only makes taking a hand possible but makes it the great experience it can be. You also have a responsibility to let your partner know when it's feeling good. Support them all you can: maybe talk, moan or groan, or if you can touch him respond to movements you can feel inside.
Blood, soreness, pain and damage
A little soreness is common and usually goes away in an hour or so. It may also indicate that your partner went in or came out a bit too fast. The most common feeling is that your arse feels like it is purring (à la Eartha Kitt). Sometimes air will have worked its way into the system but this will feel no different from standard gas pain and will work its way through in time. Once the prostate and bladder have been stimulated, it's also common to feel the need to piss afterwards and often not be able to do so easily.
There are risks associated with fisting, including perforations in your lower intestine. These may be little fissures or splits or can range from bleeding to a prolapsed rectum requiring surgery. You should not underestimate any of these problems or complications. This is usually as a result of the fister being unnecessarily rough or the fistee being too drugged-up to recognise their limitations. A tear or perforation may not be noticed for an hour or two. Internal pain (that often increases over time) and/or undiluted blood is an indication of damage.
Don't hesitate to seek medical help immediately. Try not to be embarrassed or apologetic if you have to go to an Accident and Emergency Department. Although hospital staff may think what you've done is strange, they should deal with you professionally and will have very possibly seen it all before. If you have perforated your bowel going to hospital can save your life.
Afterwards...
Douching after a session is not a good idea as this can aggravate any minor cuts or abrasions. In the remote possibility that there are minute perforations or tears, douching is likely to make them more severe. After your session, you may feel the need to shit out the lube and any mucus, and this is not unnatural, given what you have just been doing. Take your time, and don't strain. You may also feel sick, drowsy or perhaps a little confused. Between heavy breathing, smoke from candles, incense, cigarettes and poppers you may have used up much of the oxygen in the room. All you might need is to open the windows or go for a short walk. Alternatively, you may just want to sleep! You may also feel hungry, so if you can, plan ahead and have something ready. Even if you don't have the munchies, make sure you drink lots of non-alcoholic fluid.
This online advice guide is an extract from the book TOGETHER, by kind permission of Patriic Gayle and Gay Times Books. The book itself is over 300 pages long and contains:
Described by Qx magazine as a 'Gay Bible', Together Book is a practical reference work no bookshelf should be without.
Available from Prowler Stores and all good bookshops, or click the link below for price and ordering details.
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