SM Roles and experimentation

Depending on the scenario or type of SM relationship, the active or dominant partner is usually known as the top or master while the passive or submissive partner is known as the bottom or slave. Some men have a preference, others will swap roles while others will only take on one. Generally men adopt these only during sex but, occasionally, two men may form a relationship in which they have taken the decision to stay in these roles. For the purposes of this section and simplicity the dominant partner is referred to as the 'top' and the submissive partner as the 'bottom'. The key ingredient of SM is the contrasting roles of a top and the bottom. Here are a few examples:

Being the bottom	Being the top
Being spanked	Spanking him
Being tied up	Tying him up
Having your nipples squeezed	Squeezing his nipples
Being fisted	Fisting him
Being pissed on	Pissing on him
Being a naughty schoolboy	Being the schoolmaster
Being verbally abused	Verbally abusing him
Carrying out orders	Giving orders or instructions
Being the patient	Being the doctor

Passwords

Guys usually agree to use a password which, when spoken, says stop and means stop. It may seem like stating the obvious but don't choose words like 'stop'. Often, during sex, we can say 'stop' when we're really saying 'slow down' or 'go on'. Ideally, passwords should be simple and non-sexual, eg: apple, rainbow, or Ann Widdecombe.

Experimentation

If you and another inexperienced man want to experiment with SM , go ahead. Just use some common sense. You can wrestle and spank each other to your heart's content and not get hurt. You can tie your partner down and wank him off. You can administer light pain with tit clamps or clothes pegs. Just remember that the pain that seems erotic before orgasm will feel like ordinary pain again afterward. Be ready to remove clamps and uncomfortable restraints quickly.

This online advice guide is an extract from the book TOGETHER, by kind permission of Patriic Gayle and Gay Times Books. The book itself is over 300 pages long and contains:

several chapters more useful advice and information

more in-depth information in some chapters

more pictures and tables

further contacts at the end of each chapter

a comprehensive listing of gay and health organisations

Described by Qx magazine as a 'Gay Bible', Together Book is a practical reference work no bookshelf should be without.

Available from Prowler Stores and all good bookshops, or click the link below for price and ordering details.

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