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Step by Step

After your HIV diagnosis, several things are likely to happen:
  • You will subjected to a flurry of medical tests to establish your state of health and to what extent virus is affecting your immune system.
  • If appropriate, you may be offered treatments to reduce or stabilise the level of HIV in your body or treatments to help prevent the development of opportunistic infections.
  • Depending on your needs, state of health and circumstances you will be helped to apply for benefits or put in touch with a social worker or home care support team. There is sometimes an assumption by professionals that because you are gay you know what to do and where to go. This is, of course, not likely to be true where your new HIV diagnosis is concerned. Of course it may be difficult to gauge whether you're getting the information you need and want, but if you have any doubts ask - or get a second opinion from a helpline or other organisation. This can be overwhelming particularly at a time when there is likely to be a lot on your mind and you may be feeling very stressed and emotional. Spare some thought for how you are feeling. Being HIV positive can play havoc with your emotions. Whether you chat regularly with a mate, attend a group, phone a helpline or seek professional help - don't ignore your feelings. Some find it difficult to ask for help or accept it, but there's nothing wrong with getting it or for asking for it. We all need help once in a while - it doesn't mean that we are weak or incapable. Equally, saying 'no' doesn't necessarily mean you are being awkward - so don't feel guilty or afraid about saying it. The following tips are designed to make getting help and support easier, and so you make decisions which suit you and meet your needs.
  • Try to deal with one thing at a time.
  • Find a doctor or clinic you like. If you don't like them, change them.
  • Make decisions in your own time.
  • Take at least some time to learn more about HIV and how it could affect you. But you don't have to become an expert or know everything at once. Knowing more will help you feel more in control.
  • Consider how you could make your lifestyle healthier. It may include, for example, changes to your diet, having more fun or doing relaxation exercises. Even if you think you're a sceptic give it a chance; you can always go back to clubs, drugs, and ready-made-meals - they ain't going nowhere!
  • Listen to your body, it's usually pretty good at telling you what it likes and doesn't like. You may take it for granted but it is your friend, get to know and understand it better.
  • If there are changes to be made to your life, they are rarely drastic or wholesale and you don't have to make them all at once. You have time.
  • If you're attending an appointment, there's nothing to stop you taking someone with you. A little moral support and another pair of ears can be very helpful. When you are speaking about your HIV, particularly in relation to HIV services, you may come across people whom you don't know, don't like or who don't seem to understand what your needs are. Here are some tips to get you through:
  • Be honest and direct - say what's on your mind.
  • Consider taking notes and preparing some questions beforehand. This way you can take the information away and understand it better in your own time.
  • Listen to what is being said and think what you want to say next before opening your gob.
  • If you're getting irritable or angry say so, then take some deep breaths, take a break, or go to the toilet. If you really can't handle it, leave. You can always go back when you're ready.
  • If you're told something which you don't understand, repeat what's been said in your own words and ask if you've understood correctly. This online advice guide is an extract from the book TOGETHER, by kind permission of Patriic Gayle and Gay Times Books. The book itself is over 300 pages long and contains:
  • several chapters more useful advice and information
  • more in-depth information in some chapters
  • more pictures and tables
  • further contacts at the end of each chapter
  • a comprehensive listing of gay and health organisations Described by Qx magazine as a 'Gay Bible', Together Book is a practical reference work no bookshelf should be without.

    Available from Prowler Stores and all good bookshops, or click the link below for price and ordering details.
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